'He's sleeping next to me in his cradle and looking at his squishy little face I just... I hate him,' the dad wrote.
Becoming a parent is a whole new experience and one that is cherished by many. But not everyone is prepared to dive into this new experience with the same enthusiasm. Bringing a child into this world, who will one day grow up to become a person fir own right, is a huge responsibility and must not be taken lightly.
Sometimes, the decision of having kids is thrust onto parents who do not want it and things can get pretty nasty. One Reddit user shared his experience about how he grew to resent his son because of the course his life took, where nothing was in his control.
In the post, that has since been deleted, he wrote about how his wife died giving birth to his son. This led to him resenting his son and wanted to know how he could get past the resentment. The 22-year-old man was married to his wife for three years. They tied the knot at the age of 19 and the man stated, "It was honestly one of the happiest days in my life and our marriage was wonderful, I loved her more than anything."
His wife became unexpectedly pregnant in the second year of college. She did not have the heart to abort the baby but the pregnancy was very rough for her.
Additionally, the Reddit user, added, "Her parents and my parents are horrendous, abusive and overbearing. We struggled to cut off contact (I went full after my wife passed away) and when she got pregnant, her parents threatened to cut off all financial support if she aborted." Last year, around this time, his wife went into labor and the man wrote, "Of course I'm beside her even though it's a baby I never wanted," he added, "but the worst happened and I went home alone with a baby." He was now left to care for the baby by himself.
With no support from his parents who have two other children to take care of, nor from his in-laws, he was left to depend on his poor 20-something friends for help while he gave up on going to medical school. He took up two jobs instead.
"The first year was absolute hell. I had no idea how to raise a child," he wrote. "My son was bounced around with my friends, who rotated looking after him while I was working. I worked 12 am to 8 am overnight where I'd leave him with my best friend. Thankfully he was not a fussy baby and slept through most of the night." He would then pick his son up from there and catch up on sleep while also caring for his awake infant before his next job from 3 pm to 9 pm.
He then stated, "Anyway, that's where I am today. I'm 22 with a son who turned one today. Couldn't find anyone to watch him so I called in. He's sleeping next to me in his cradle and looking at his squishy little face I just... I hate him. I hate this stupid f****** kid.
Well, not entirely. When he snuggles next to me the few hours I have off, I get a rush of affection for him. But most of the time, I hate him." His birthday is a reminder of his wife's death and he can't stop himself from thinking how different it would have been if his son was not born. He is now concerned that his friends are getting tired of him for being forced to raise his son for half a year. "They're already getting sick of him. I'M sick of him. And I've got seventeen more years before I'm free," he said of his son.
Redditors were quick to let the grieving dad know that there are ways his situation could be helped. User
randomisgood2020 stated, What you’ve described in the UK would come under severe postnatal (US - postpartum) depression for the father. Please can I emphasize that this is not something to be ashamed of nor hide from?
Others also noted that the dad hated the circumstances he was in and not his son. Others encouraged him to seek out resources that could help him manage his work and caring for the baby. Many even offered to help him out personally as well.
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